बहू का फर्स्ट अफेयर.........

बहू का फर्स्ट अफेयर सुनने के बाद ससुर ने बहू को मारा!
2न्ड अफेयर पता लगने पर पति ने मारा!
लेकिन सास हर बार चुप रही!
क्यूँ??
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क्यूंकी सास भी कभी बहू थी!

लड़के-लड़कियों की ख्वाहिश

लड़के-लड़कियों की ख्वाहिश
लड़कियों को अपना पति ऐसा चाहिए होता है-
जो कमाए तो अंबानी की तरह,
पर पेश आए मनमोहन की तरह।
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लड़कों को अपनी पत्नी ऐसी चाहिए होती है-
जो दिखे तो मिस यूनिवर्स की तरह,
पर पेश आए शांता बाई की तरह। 

देश के युवाओं को एक सलाह..............

देश के युवाओं को एक सलाहः

अगर तुम देश बदलना चाहते हो तो अभी बदल दो,

क्योंकि...
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अगर एक बार शादी हो गई तो...
देश तो छोड़ो...तुम टीवी चैनल तक नहीं बदल पाओगे... :)

Ek tooti PREM kahani

Ek tooti PREM kahani
Fark sirf itna sa hai

Uski barat gayi,
Iski mayat uthi.

Phool us par bhi the,

Phool is par bhi the.
Mehfil waha bhi thi,

Log yaha bhi the.

Wo doli pe thi,
Yeh janaze pe tha.

Unka hasna waha,
Inka rona yaha.

Saheliya uski bhi thi,
Dost iske bhi the.

Qazi udhar bhi the,

Molvi Idar bhi the.
Wo saj k gayi,

Ise sajaya gaya.

Wo uth k gayi,
Ise uthaya gaya.

Fark sirf itna sa hai,

USE APNAYA GAYA AUR ISE DAFNAYA GAYA

Best lines

Behtreen insaan apni mithi jubaan se hee jana jata hai..
warna achhi batein to deewaro par bhi likhi hoti hai..!!

Wonderful line-

Wonderful line-
Agar dost na milte
to kabhi yakeen nhai hota ki… ajanabi log bhi apno se zyada pyare ho sakte hain.



Achcha dost zindgi ko jannat bnata hai.

Islye Meri qadar kia karo
Warna fir kehte firoge.!!

Bahti hawa sa tha wo
Yar hmara tha wo
Kaha gaya use dhundo.

khud par Sabse Jyada proud kab hota hai ?

khud par Sabse Jyada proud kab hota hai ?
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Jab usko Exam mein kuch na aata ho,
Aur pichhe se teacher aake kahe,
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Copy chhupa lo Pichhe wala dekh raha hai….
Kasam se seena chaura ho jata hai :

Ek chhoti bacchi apne Papa ke saath ja rahi thi

Ek chhoti bacchi apne Papa ke saath ja rahi thi.

1 Pul par Paani bahut tezi se bah raha tha.

Papa : Beta daro mat,
Mera haath pakad lo.

Bacchi : Nahi Papa Aap Mera haath pakad lo.

Papa (Muskura kar bole) :
Dono me kya Antar hai?

Bacchi : Agar main Aapka haath pakdu aur achanak kuch ho jaaye to shayad,
Me Aapka haath chhod du.

LEKIN agar Aap Mera haath pakdenge to,
Main janti hu ke chahe kuch bhi ho jaaye.

“AAP MERA HAATH KABHI NAHI CHHODENGE”

GREAT LOVE.

“Aaj bhi Bacche haath chhod dete hai,
Maa-Baap nahi”

Luv Ur Parents..
Dedicated to our “PARENT’S”.

funny jokes in hindi

funny image jokes

Kabhi noton ke liye mare,......../ Zamin par wo mera naam likhte hai aur mitate hai...........

Kabhi noton ke liye mare,
Kabhi voton ke liye mare,
Kabhi jat-pat ke naam par mare,
Agar hote Vir Bhagat Singh to kehte “Yaar Sukhdev,
Hum bhi kin logon ke liye mare.





Zamin par wo mera naam likhte hai aur mitate hai.
Unka to timepass ho jata hai….
Kambhakt mitti mein hum mil jate hai.

funny joks

Murgi Anda Deti H,

Aur Gaay Dudh Deti He, To Aisa Kon He Jo

Dudh Bhi Deta He,

Aur Anda Bhi Deta He?

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Dukandaar.ha Ha Ha Ha.

PETROL Ke Daam Ladkiyon Ki Tarah

Hote Hai...?

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Pata Chal Jaye Ki Aap Uske Bina Reh

Nahi Sakte,

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To Unke Bhav Badhte Hi Jate

Hai 

Agree boys? 

Wife Calls hubby.../ Pappu bar bar apna facebook ka

Wife Calls hubby...

Wife : Kya Kar Rahe Ho ?

Hubby : Office Mein Hoon, Bohat

Busy Hoon

aur Tum Kya Kar Rahi Ho ?

Wife : KFC Mein Tumhare Peeche

Bachon K Saath Bethi Hu

Aur Bacche Pooch Rahe Hain K Papa

K Saath Konsi BUA Bethi Hain ??? Lol

Pappu bar bar apna facebook ka

Password bhool jata tha . . .

Usne socha mein facebook ka pasword

kya rakhu jo kabhi na bhoolu . . .

Usne password rakha " INCORRECT" ...

Ab jab bhi wo galat password enter karta

Computer usey khud bata deta

Ur password is " Incorrect "

Pappu Rocked, Facebook Shocked

थर्ड नेशनल बैंक मैं डाका डाला..

एक बडा सा कुत्ता एक छोटे से बच्चे का मुंह और हाथ चाटने लगा | 

बच्चा डर के मारे चीख उठा | 

उसकी मां निकली और बोली -क्या हुआ कुत्ते ने काटा तो नहीं ?

बच्चे ने भोलेपन से जवाब दिया - नहीं , अभी तो चक रहा हैं |

डाकू ( अपने मित्र से )- परसों मैंने फर्स्ट नेशनल बैंक में डाका डाला | कल मैंने थर्ड नेशनल बैंक मैं डाका डाला | 

मित्र (अपने डाकू मित्र से ) - लेकिन सैकेण्ड बैंक क्यो छोड दिया , उस्ताद जी ?

डाकू- भैया , उस बैंक में मेरा अपना रूपया जमा है |

funny jokes

एक छात्र ने गणित के अध्यापक से कहा - सर ! अंग्रेजी के अध्यापक तो अंग्रेजी में बातें करते है |

आप भी गणित में बात क्यों नहीं करतें ?

गणित अध्यापक - ज्यादा तीन पांच न कर फोरन नौ -दो ग्यारह हो जा , नहीं तो चार पांच रख दूगां तो छठी का दूध याद आ जाएगा |

एक खूबसूरत लडकी बस स्टैंड पर खडी थी

एक खूबसूरत लडकी बस स्टैंड पर खडी थी |

एक नौजवान बोला- चांद तो रात में निकलता हैं , आज दिन में कैसे निकल आया ?

लडकी बोली - अरे उल्लू तो रात को बोलता था , आज दिन में कैसे बोल रहा हैं |

Latest Husband and Wife Jokes

:: Husband and Wife Jokes ::
pati- hipnotis kya hota hai?
patni-kisiko apne control mai kr k apne marji ka kaam krwana.
pati-chal jhuti!!!! use to shaadi kehte hai..




:: Latest Husband and Wife Jokes ::
chor-tmhare pass jo kuch bhi hai fata fat de do.

admi-bhai,aisa maat karo,agar mai khali hath gaya to meri bivi mujhe khacha chaba jayegi..

chor-agar mai khali pahucha to kya meri bivi mujhe taal k khayegi....??




:: Best Husband and Wife Jokes ::
admi shadi kyu krta hai?
marne k baad woh swarg mai jaye to acha feel kare ,aur nark mai jaye to apne ghar jaisa feel kare....

ek admi ki nye nye shadi hue,phir bhi sham mai use ghr jane ki koi jaldi nahi rehti,woh der tak office mai hi rehta tha

boss ne pucha kya baat hai

ushne ne bataya ki meri bivi bhi job krti hai,aur jo ghar jaldi jata hai khana bhi usi ko banana padeta hai




:: Best Husband and Wife Jokes ::
3 sharabi apas mai baat kr rahe the ki kaun apni bivi kitna control mai rakhta hai..
unme se 3 chup tha?
2no ne puch kya hua?
3 bola kaal hi meri bivi ghutno k baal mere pass aye..
2no ne kaha shabas!!!
3- aur mujhe boli agar mard ho to bed k niche se niklo....




:: Best Husband and Wife Jokes ::
patni 1/2 hr se phone pekisi se baat kr rahi thi,ushne call cut kr diya..
pati-aaj tmne bahut jaldi call cut kr diya..
patni-wrong no tha ishliye




patni-apne pati ki kabr pe pankha kr rahi thi..
ek admi ne bola-behan ji ab ishpe pankha kr k kya fayda
patni-hmare yaha ek rule hai jab tak pati ki kabr sukh nhi jati,tab tak patni ki dusari shadi nhi ho sakti...

ek admi apni patni ka antimsanshkar kr k ghar aa raha tha
tahi jor se bijli kadki,badal garje or jor se barish hue

dukhi admi ne apne sath chal rhe logo se kaha-- lagta hai pahuch gaye..

ek admi ko cncer hua tha
ek din ushk beta ne pucha-papa apko cancer hai phir bhi ap logo se keh rahe hai ki apko Aids hai..
pita ne jwab diya-taki mere marne k baad koi tmhari mummy ko chune ki himmat na kare...





:: Husband and Wife Jokes ::
ek kuwe ki manyata thi ki sikka dal kr mano kamna puri ho jati thi..
ek pati patni waha gaye
pati ne sikka dala aur kuwe k pass se haat gaya..
patni gaye aur woh kuwe pass juki sikka dalne k liye aur gir gaye ..
pati thodi der sant tha aur bhi bola-- itni jaldi ye to chamatkar hai.....


1
:: Husband and Wife Jokes ::
ek pati apni patni ko yeh keh kr chidata tha- 3 bacho ki amma
patni ko bahut gussa ata tha
ek din jaise hi pati ne bola 3 bacho ki amma
patni ne turant jwab diya bolo- 2 bacho k papa..




techr ne chote bache se pucha"bhagwan kaha hai"?
ek bache ne bola mujhe pata hai..
techr-batao
bacha-bathroom mai.
techr-ek pal k liye chup thi....phir boli tmhe kaise pata?
bacha-roj subah jab papa uthte hai.bathroom ka darwaja knock krte hue kehte hai ."Hey Bhagwan!tm ab tak andar hi ho...




pati patni ek bhed bahre bus mai ja rahe the
pati ek ladki pass jakar saat k khada ho gaya,yeh dekh kr patni ko jalan hue..
achanak ush ladi ne ek chata mara,aur kaha lo maja ek ladki to chikoti katne ki'
pati ne patni ko safaye dete hue kaha maine chikoti nhi kati..
patni muskura k bolo -mujhe pata hai,kyuki maine kiya tha yeh sab....





:: New Husband and Wife Jokes ::
ek admi ne waiter ko 100rs tip diye
waiter-ap k liye mai roj shaam ko kone wali table reserve rakhunga
admi-maine tmhe ishliye tip di hai jab bhi mai apni patni k satha au to tm kehna table khali nhi hai,to mai use kisi saste se hotel mai le jaunga





:: New Husband and Wife Jokes ::
pati patni bade hi khusi se reh rhe the...unki 25 aniversry thi
news reporter unk ghar gaye woh bahut famus couple the
reporter-ap k bech kabhi ladai nhi hoti?
pati-hm honeymoon pe gaye the.. mai aur meri patni horse pe baith k ghum rahe the...
bivi k horse ne use gira diya to meri bivi ne bola- pehli bar,aur woh phir use horse pe chad gye
horse ne phir giraya to boli- dusari bar,aur phir chad gye
horse ne phir giraya-kuch nhi boli,gun nikala aur horse ko mar diya
maine bola yeh tmne kya kiya,kyu mar diya,to ushne bola pehli bar
tab se hm santi se reh rahe hai

husband and wife jokes

It is said that Husband is the head of D family,
But
Remember that wife is D Neck of D family.
& the Neck can turn the Head exactly D way she wants.




[#] Enjoy latest & coolest collection ever on your favourite e-TV=latestsms.in of mobile text stuff and quotes. Read best of the months, husband wife jokes; put a big smile on your loving wife's face sharing funny husband and wife jokes in hindi on her cellphone.




wife jokes | husband wife jokes in hindi | husband and wife jokes

A white couple gets a black child.
Angry husband asks- You white, Me white. Why is baby black?
Wife- You hot, Me hot. Baby burnt!




True bravery is 2 arrive home.....fully drunk......a latenight out.....& wife waiting with a jhadu and u ask: Hey abhitak safai kar rahi ho?




Wife: Our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he goesto work, why don't you do that? Husband: How can I? I don't even know her.




Wife 2 Husband: Did u Have any GF before marriage ?
Husband remains silent ?
Wife: what is D meaning of silence?
Husband: Wait.. let me count...




Possible Reasons When A Man Opens a car door for wife
1) The Car Is New.
2) The Wife Is New
3) (Most Imp) She Is Not His Wife




Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.




A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC




A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!




11
Husband - aj kuch aisi bat batao jisase dil khush bhi ho jaye aur jal bhi jaye
Wife- tumhare sare dosto me sabse acha kiss karane ka style tumhara hai




bivi k thappad marne k bad pati bola Admi use hi marta h jise vo pyar karta h.
bivi ne bhi 2khich k mari or boli-Ap kya samjte h mai apse pyar nahi karti.




Wife: Bus karo rat k 12 baje se kar rahe ho or subai k 8 ho gaye,
Thake nahi ?Husband: abhi to kuchh nahi kia ab to din raat karunga kyu ki.. 
5000 MSG free hai.




Wife pati se boli-Dekho G Kaam karte Waqt mere ko Kiss-Wiss na kiya karo.
Tabhi Kaamwali Boli-Maidam achi Tarah se Samjha do, Mai to bol-bol ke Thak Gayi




Wife: Dekhi na wo aadmi mujhe ghur ghur ke dekh raha hai.
Husband: Arre wo to bhangar wala ( scrap dealer ) hai, Bekar MAAL par nazar rakhana uski addat hai...........




Patni- Shadi K Pehle Aap Roz Gift Dete The, Par Ab Nai Dete, Kyu?
Pati- Tune Kabhi Kisi Machware 
Ko Machli Pakdne K Baad Use Dana Dalte Dekha Hai




wife 2 husband-mujhe kahi mehngi jagah ghumane le chalo.
husband-chalo tayaar ho jao.
petrol pump chalte hain..

OFFICE ARITHMETIC JOKES

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime




Wife : whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it,
I don’t know what to do?
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Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them…




Wife : Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan
kahan se aaya?
Husband : Mein khud paresaan hu nishan dekhkar.
Maine tu uss wakt shirt utari hui thi.




Jyotish ladke ke haath dekhkar bola
“Beta tum bahut padhoge”
Ladka : Saale padh to mein 4 saal se raha hu,
ye bata paas kab hounga???

New way of writting answers in exams.
If you don’t know the answer,
then put lines like this :
||||||||||
and write below :
“Scratch here for ANSWERS”




1 boy on his way 2 home with his mom after school,
saw a couple kissing on the road…
He suddenly shouted and said look mom
they are fighting for CHEWING GUM.

Height of Shame.




At bus stop a girl was standing
with her face covered. A man on bike stops
and says “Chalna hai kya?”
Girl replies : Papa mein hoon.




Raat ke 3 baje santa ke number par phone
aaya – Hello yaha Fatima Mehfooz rehti hai kya?
Santa : Kutte itni raat ko Fatima mere paas
hoti to mehfooz rehti kya?





Santa : Aaj papa ne pitayi kar di
Banta : Kyun?
Santa : Meine to sirf itna pucha “KAMINE” film
dekhne chal rahe ho ya ghar pe hi “BLUE” film dekhoge





146
Girls of 1990– “Agar tum mil jao zamana chor denge hum”
Girls of 2011– “Agra tum mil jao purana chor denge hum!”




Husband and Wife had a Fight.
Wife called Mom : He fought with me again,
I am coming to you.
Mom : No beta, he must pay for his mistake,
I am comming to stay with U!




Modern Majnu– Mein tumhare ishq me barbaad ho gai, lut gayi, meri duniya rushwa ho gayi…
Modern Laila– To karmjali, mein kaun sa bank managar ban gaya




Santa found cigarette in daughter’s room “Ohh God! She smokes?”
Then she found wine, “O God! She drinks?” Then he saw boy,
“Thank God@ To ye sab ess boy ka hai”




Nepali : Saab ye shaam singh ka mobile kaha milega
Salesman : Pata nahi
Nepali : Saab ji TV me ad to isi dukan ka hai.
Salesman : Abey ye sham singh nahi, SAMSUNG hai!!




Preity Zintaaaa ne hoto par “India” ke tirange ka
tattoo laga rakha tha Ek ladka aaya aur hoto
par “kiss” kar gaya aur bola, “I LOVE MY INDIA”




Har gum ko pala nai jata,
Kanch ki chizo ko uchala nai jata,
Kuch karna hi to mehnat karo yaro,
Har baat ko “All is WELL” bolke tala nahi jata!




Santa Banta se bola “Bhai aaj to chay peene ka maza aa gaya.”
Banta : Santa Jee, agar billi ne dudh me muh na mara hota to aur bhi

maza aata!!!

Height of Surprise jokes

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
.
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy




Santa : Mujhe mobile me MP3 songs dalwane hai.
Mobile Shop Wala : Memory card hai kya?
Santa : Nahi memory card nahi hai, RASAN CARD chalega?




Santa : Tumhari biwi ka kya naam hai?
Banta : Google Kaur.
Santa : Ye kaisa naam hai?
Banta : Yaar mein jaha bhi hota hoon, wo mujhe dhoondh hi leti hai!




Santa ko rota dekhkar Banta ne pucha kya hua?
Santa : Meine 2 ton ka AC kharida,
ghar aakar tola to sir 35 kilo ka nikla!




Sasur ne Daamaad se kaha : 6 saale me 8 baache.Ye kya hai?
Daamaad : Maine aapse kaha tha Gareeb jarur hu par aapki beti ko kabhi khali pet nahi rakhunga!




Golu : Mom kya aapne mujhe paida hone se pehle dekha tha?
Mom : Nahi to beta!
Golu : To phir paida hone ke baad aapne mujhe pehchana kaise??




Banta ne FaceBook pe apna account banaya
aur apni WALL pe likha : Plz Do Not laugh...

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

House owner: Rs 500 kiraya hoga.
Tanent: Thik hai. Lekin aapke ghar me chuhey nach rahe hai.
House owner: To saale 500 me kya Sheela nachegi?




Santa ko uska sasur jute maar raha tha
Aadmi : Kyu maar rahe ho?
Sasur : Meinie ise Hospital se SMS kiya.
Tum baap ban gaye ho. Isne apne sare friends ko forward kar diya!




Nurse : Mubarak ho aap ke ghar ladka paida hua hai.
Santa : Wahh G wahh kya Ultra technology hai, Biwi meri hospital hai,
aur bacha mere ghar paida hua hai!!!




Height of Surprise:
“A boy after spending great time with GF,
Saw a guy’s photo in her bag
Asked – Is he ur X BF?
GF kissed him said no dear thats me before surgery…




Santa : Yaar meri biwi ghar chodkar bhag gaye.
Banta : Tune usse pyaar se nahi rakha hoga.
santa : Nahi yaar appni behan se bhi badkar rakha tha.




Why is Salman disturbed these days?
Usi girlfriend haath se nikal hai, aur bhabhi badnaam ho gayi hai…!




Sholey ki team ne IPL me part liya,Gabbar ke bowler ne 20 Over me 150 run diye aur extra me 200 run diye
Batao kyun?. . . . .. .. . .. . . .
Kyunki wicketkeepar thakur tha..:)




Kya aapko marne ke baad bhi ladko/ladkiyon ko line maarni hai??……………
“DONATE YOUR EYES”
Ek aache message ko kaise-kaise batana pad raha hai..Kalyug hai!!!

mast mast jokes

Ek din Santa ne apni premika ko himmat jutakar keh dala – I love you.
Premika(Gusse se) : Jara pyar se nahi keh sakte?
Santa : I love you Didi!!!!




Pati aur patni ghumne gaye. Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata
dekh patni ne pati se kaha – Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas
kha raha hai, namaste karo.
Pati – Namaste Sasur Ji




Santa ne Banta se kaha,”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”
Banta replied – Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena,
paas karke dikha.




Santa : Yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar 15 rupees bacha liye.
Banta : Kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 150 rupees bachta!




Sardarni : Lo light chali gayi.
Sardar : Light chali gayi hai to fan chala do.
Sardarni :Lo fir se kar di na sardaro wali baat. Agar fan chalaunga to mombatti bujh nahi jayegi!




Sardar to doctor: Jab mein sota hu to mere sapne me Live IPL Cricket match ane lagta hai.
Doctor: Koi baat nahi ye medicine sone se pehle kha lena.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga, aaj to final match hai!!!




Ek sarder ne air-hostess se kaha, “Aapki shakal meri biwi
se bahut milti hai”.
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi zordaar thappad uske muh pe mara…
Sardar foran bola : “Aadat bhi bahut milti hai”




Ek din Santa jungle se gujar raha tha
Chudail ne use roka aur kaha : Ho ho ho Ha ha ha…Mein Chudail hu.
Sardar : Menu pata hai…kyunki teri ek behen meri biwi hai!




206
Ek chor Sardar jee k mobile ko lekar bhar raha tha.
Sardar hasne laga
Banta : Wo tumhare mobile ko lekar bhag raha hai aur tum hans rahe ho.
Sardar : Bhagne do, charger to mere paas hai!




Santa ek black aur ek white shocks pehenkar school aata hai.
Madam : Ghar jao aur moje badalkar aao.
Santa : Koi fayda nahi, waha bhi ek black aur ek white moja hi rakha hai.




Teacher : Santa batao ‘M’ for kya hota hai?
Santa : Sir, Mother!
Teacher : Right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?
Santa kuch sochne lagta hai
Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?
Santa : Sir, mein yeh soch raha tha ki Maa ulti kaise ho gayi?




Girl-to-Boy – Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch saaf kar diya,
mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya
Boy-to-Girl – Aye ladki, teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi,
bhej de rakh mujhe, bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi.




Santa : Banta itni sharab na piya karo, tumhari saanso tak se badbu aati hai.
Yehi haal raha to tumhe nark bhi jagah nahi milegi.
Banta : Don’t worry Santa. Saanse to me yehi chorrkar jaunga!!!




Sardar ne makhi ke legs tod kar kaha, Ja udd ja..
Lekin Makkhi nahi udi, Sr ne kaha..
“Aab to saabit ho gaya ki agar makkhi ke legs tod di jaye
to makkhi sun nahi sakti!!!”




Son(On Phone) : Maa! aaj hum 2 se 3 ho gaye.
Mother : Sabbash Beta! Ladka hua ya ladki.
Son : Nahi maa! tumhari bahu ne dusri shaadi kar li.




Jo dete hai ladki ko tohfe,
Wo late hai unki shaadi me sofe,
.
Jo jate hai unke piche,
Wo aate hai caro ke neeche,
.
Jo kehte hai JAANU,
Wahi bante hai baacho ke MAMU!!!

hindi jokes

Pregnant Sardarni carred ISI mark on her stomach.
When asked why ISI mark..
She replied…ISI means INTELLIGENT SARDAR INSIDE.




English Teacher: “One cute and young girl is walking on the road.” Change this into an punjabi exclamatory sentence.
Sardar student:- “Oye,pataka !”





SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

1.Strength: My wife, Jeeto.
2.Weakness: Banta’s wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!




After a big accident, a man was crying : O God! I have lost my lef hand?
Santa: Control yourself my friend. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost
his head. Is he crying?




107
After robbing the bank, 1 robber to clerk : Did you see me robbing?
Clerk : Yes I saw u.
Robber killed him and asked to the next clerk : Did u?
Second Clerk : No, but my wife saw u!




Teacher: what do u call a person who cannot hear anything?
Santa: U can call him anything, because he cannot hear anything.




A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar :Is that a sun or moon? Other Sardar replies :Oye ! No idea…Im new to this city..




what is the extreme limit of stupidity? Two Sardars sitting on a Rikshaw….,
and….,
fighting for a corner seat.




Once a Sardar, his wife, son and daughter went to a private party. There he introduces his family to a stranger by saying, “I am Sardar, she is Sardarni, he is my kid and she is my kidney.”




A lady tourist went to a country on a vacation. In the evening she was toddling on the beach. A security person came to her and said, “Mam only one-piece is allowed here.” The lady was awe, thinking which one to open.




Romans were never good on Algebra because there ‘X’ was always ‘10.’

Once Amitabhh Bachchann and Pran were travelling in a train and were engaged in a good gossip for the entire journey. A station came after hours and Pran boarded off. Mr. Bachchan remained. A stranger co-passenger asked to Mr. Bachchan, “Both of you seemed good friend, why didn’t you go away with him.” Amitabh said, “Pran jae per Vachan na jae.”




While visiting Santa’s house, Banta noticed that he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model.
Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down, Banta asked why the small one was there.
“Oh,” Santa replied, “I have decided to watch less Tv.”




2 Sardars in museum looking at Egyptian Mummy.
Sardar 1: Look So many bandages Pakka Accident Case.
Sardar 2: Ya Ya..Lorry number also written.BC.1760..

latest hindi jokes

Doctor to Female : Kya aap delivery ke time baache ke pita ko
apne paas dekhna chahenge?
Female : Nahi, unhe mere pati pasand nahi karte!!!




Ek baar ek terrorist ne ek budhiya ke ghar me bomb rakh diya.
Log chillaye – Budhiya bomb hai, Budhiya bomb hai.
Budhiya sarmakar boli : Dhatt teri, wo to mein jawani me thi!!!




Husband : Jab mein aache clothes pehenkar bazaar jata hu to sabziwale
sabzi mehngi dete hai. Jab gande kapde pehenkar jata hu to saste.
Wife : Tum katora lekar jaya karo na, free me hi sabzi mil jayegi!




Santa to Autodriver : Gurudware Jaoge?
Driver : Haan bilkul jaunga?
Santa ne jeb se polythin nikala aur bola : Wapas aana to mere
liye langar le aana!




Ek 99 year ka aadmi Swarg ki raunak aur sunder apsarao ko dekhke bola : “Ye Baba Ramdevv ke chakkar me na pada hota to yaha 30 saal pehle aa gaya hota”.




Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par please mujhe maroge to nahi.
Santa: Haan bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu.
Santa: It’s a gud News. Ess baat par kyu tumhe maru.
Jeeto: Shadi se pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.




Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.




Santa by mistake goes into a ladies toilet.
All ladies suddenly stand up
Santa : Izzat dil me ho yehi kaafi hai,
Baitho Baitho…:)




Boss: Itne kam kapray pehan k q aai ho? Aadha jism dikh raha hai.
Girl: Itni salary mein yehi aata hai!
Boss: Manager, Iss ko 3 months tak salary mat dena




Medical science proved ki
Kapre tight pehnney se Blood Circulation ruk jati hai.
But
Larkiyon ke kapre jitne tight ho,
Larko ke blood circulation utni tez hoti hai!!




Height Of Embarrasment :
Man Sitting With his Wife in the Park
Another Lady Comes to his Wife and Says:
“Paise Pehly Le lena, ye admi Baad Mai Bahut Lafra Karta Hai.




After legalizing gay’s relations in india
The question tailors are asking to male customers while stitching trousers…
“Sir, Zip aage lagau ya peeche?




On first night after marriage
Wife : Mujhe ghabrahat ho rahi hai.
Husband : I thinK because this is your first night.
Wife : No, no.. Actually it is first time in night…




Santa is raping a girl. Girl shouting,
Santa : Chillao yahan se tumhari awaz bahar nahi ja sakti,
Girl : Mujhe yakin nahi aata,
Santa : Theek hai mein yahan chillata hun tum bahar jaake suno aawaz aati hai ya nahi?




Madam to Student : Last Semester you were roaming
with that girl and this semester you are roaming with other.
What you think of yourself?
Boy : Syllabus changed mam.




Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.
Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge




Son to Dad : Papa, Mein itna bada kab hounga ki mein mummy se bina puche bahar ja saku?
Papa : Beta abhi itna bada to mein bhi nahi hua!!!